Hello, Toxaholics! I’m back from my day off and at your service once again.

So today we begin our 2nd (of 3) week of previews. Now, this is the more cushy week of previews. The first week was nothiing but terrifying (will the audience like us or did I just waste 2 years of my freakin’ life writing this damn show!) Fortunately, they liked us. And next week is the week that critics will be attending our theatrical enterprise, so I will revert back into my attractive nervous/terrified mode.

But this week, I have confidence in our show (thanks, Week 1 audiences!) and there aren’t any pesky critics around (Note to critics: love me! love me! love me!) Also, whereas we were rehearsing four hours each day last week, this week, we’re only rehearsing two hours per day. Yes, that means our show is almost fully baked! We’re just putting a handful of changes in the show this week, so we don’t have to rehearse much.

Here’s a fun change we worked on today — one of Nancy Opel’s characters (I won’t say which one so I don’t have to write SPOILER ALERT) dies at the end of the show. And Nancy pointed out that everyone who dies in the show gets to have a cool, graphic death (mutilation, dismemberment, etc) while her character just sort of stumbles off-stage. “Can’t I have a cool, graphic death?” Nancy pleaded. So we answered the dear woman’s pleas and have given her a bloody, gross demise, and now she’s happy.

Anyway, since many of you have been sending me questions, I thought I’d welcome myself back to work by answering them!

Q: Will The Toxic Avenger Original Cast Recording be available to purchase on this site?
A: That is an excellent question! Why, it’s such an excellent question, I have no idea what the answer is. I suppose I could ask someone, but that would entail effort. So suffice it to say that even if the record isn’t directly availabe on this site, rest assured that this site will loudly and gaudily point you to where you can buy the CD. But the CD is going to be sold at le Stages de New World starting opening night (April 6th!) and should be available for purchase elsewhere shortly thereafter.

Q: Is The Toxic Avenger thinking about coming to Europe? I would definitely travel to see it, and it sounds much better than the crappy shows we have here.
A: Yes, we already (!) have intererest from producers in London and Germany, as well as Korea (not in Europe, I know, I know.) But we do hope to eventually play in those countries. Then we hope to play in the rest of Europe as well as Japan and Australia. Then we hope to take over the world and topple governments until we’ve fully reached global domination (David and I dream big.)

Q: Are you going to write a similar blog for Memphis?
A: Yes, I am planning on starting one when Memphis goes into rehearsals. Now, I’ve been sworn to secrecy as to when Memphis goes into rehearsals (mid-August) and when it opens on Broadway (mid-October,) so I can’t give you anymore information than that.

Q: I really like your writing. Have you ever thought about writing a book, or at least blogging about your adventures in musical theatre world?
A: I like writing plays better than books because plays have less words. However the idea of blogging more has caught my fancy, so I will maybe do that. Thanks for the encouragement!

Q: After Toxic Avenger and Memphis, what’s next for you and David? Will you be writing another show together?
A: Yep. We’re planning to write a lot more show together. We’ve already started one but its subject matter is TOP SECRET (it’s about songwriters set against the backdrop of The Brill Building in the early ’60’s.) But it’s gonna be cool.

Q: I saw The Toxic Avenger at George Street and I saved one of the green balloons that fell at the end. Will there be more green balloons in this version?
A: SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! Yes, there will be more green balloons. END SPOILER ALERT.

Q: The question about green balloons wasn’t a real question, was it?
A: Yes, a Toxaholic actually asked that!

Q: Who uses more hair product? You or David?
A: Definitely David. He still has long, flowing locks. I have a bald spot that I’m trying to convince to stop growing.

Q: Will you be taking a date to the opening of Toxic Avenger, or will you be going by your sad, lonesome self like you usually do?
A: No comment, next question.

Q: You just answered my question by refusing to comment.
A: I said, “next question.”

Q: All this writing you do is well and good, but I’d rather see more pictures of your dog. Could you post more of them soon?
A: I could, but wouldn’t you rather talk about the creation of a glorious piece of theatre?
A: No, I’d rather see more pictures of your dog.

Q: I am obsessed with your guitarist, long-haired rock stud Chris Cicchino. If I stalk him, do you think there’s a chance he will sleep with me?
A: Chris is a highly moral man, and he will absolutely not sleep with a woman until 12 dates or 3 beers, whichever comes first.

Q: What about you? If I stalk you, will you sleep with me?
A: Yes, I have no such moral code.

Q: Unquestionably, the two biggest theatre stars in New York right now are Angela Lansbury and The Toxic Avenger. If both were visiting the same small town and a murder took place, which would most likely solve it first?
A: Wow. Tough, tough question. Probably Lansbury, just based on experience. Excellent question though, thanks for asking.

Q: When I see a musical about a green mutant freak, I expect the plot to be entirely logical. But one plot point REALLY bugs me about your show — when The Mayor and The Toxic Avenger meet up at the Tromaville docks, he chokes her but vows that he won’t destoy her until he’s exposed the evil that she’s done. Well, why doesn’t he just kill her there AND still expose the evil that she’s done. That way, he also would prevent her from doing any more evil. It just doesn’t make sense and it clearly is a major flaw with your writing.
A: If you knew anything, you’d know that all superhero stories MUST follow the Batman TV Series rules of writing. Remember when in every episode Batman and Robin were captured and the villain set up a convulted way for them to die and then left them alone, giving them tons of time to escape. And the villains never learned that maybe they should stay in the room and make sure the convulted death-machines actually worked? Why did the villains never do this? Because then Batman would’ve been killed and the series would’ve been over. Same logic here. Phew. I think I explained myself pretty well.

All right, Toxaholics — reports of Week 2 will soon be emitting from my computer!

Rested and tan and full of life,