PREVIEW WEEK 2: A HARROWING DOG REENACTMENT

Great news, Toxaholics!

Last night’s show was Fantoxic (that is a word coined by our PR whiz Richard Hillman, who spent 10 years as Helen Reddy’s back-up singer. That’s right, a dude stood behind her all that time and sang back-up to “I Am Woman.” Rock ‘n roll is a crazy world.) Anyway, last night’s audience was so loud and laugh-filled that I wanted to take them home and have their baby.

In fact, things have been going so well that today our directorman, TonyAwardBoy John Rando, decided to ‘freeze’ the show! That means we’re done changing lines or adjusting light cues or yelling at each other in rehearsal or
fixing blocking. Which means — no more rehearsal! Yay! This means that actors will get to perfect their performances for all five (!) shows this weekend prior to our onslaught welcoming of critics next week!

And to celebrate our final rehearsal today, composer David Bryan and I didn’t show up for it! Double yay! Actually, we were in a rehearsal studio on Eighth Avenue auditioning dancers for our forthcoming megamusical “Memphis” (coming this fall to a really cool Broadway theatre which I can’t mention to you or I’ll be killed.) Anyway, the most amazing and humbling thing about casting a Broadway show is the level of talent that you see — so many of the young folks who auditioned today could sing AND dance AND act AND do backflips. David and I were in awe. We wish we could cast them all but that would mean that “Memphis” would have a chorus of 150 people and the tickets would cost about $4000 (actually, that’s only about fifty bucks more than Broadway tix cost now.)

So while David and I were being awed, Rando and his merry group of actors were doing some final rehearsing. I REALLY wanted to be there to take some final rehearsal pics for you loyal Toxaholics, because that’s the kind of guy I am. But fear not! Since I feel sooo guilty about shirking my picture-taking-blogging duties, I have reached down into my creative soul and decided to do the next best thing — I have enlisted blog superstar and perpetually- exhausted canine, Rocco, to reenact some seminal moments from today’s rehearsal. Yes, theatrical photo journalism at its finest.

The major change that they rehearsed today was — WAIT! STOP READING IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE SHOW! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SERIOUSLY, I’M NOT KIDDING! THIS IS AN ACTUAL SPOILER ALERT, NOT A TEST! Anyhoo, the major change that they rehearsed today involved the scene where Toxie goes on a rampage and mauls an old lady. SEE, I TOLD YOU THAT WAS A REAL SPOILER ALERT! WHY DID YOU CONTINUE READING? BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO WILL POWER, THAT’S WHY!

So though I wasn’t there, I spoke for hours on the phone with fight expert Rick Sordelet, who explained to me — in graphic, precise detail — how the sequence looks on stage now. So please enjoy this harrowing reanactment in which Toxie (played by Rocco) approaches The Adorable Old Lady (played by Rocco’s Alligator Beanie Baby from Florida) and begins to maul her.


The mauling is over in a flash, and Toxie sucks the remaining life out of The Adorable Old Lady.


You can practically smell the carnage, can’t you?

Also today, they rehearsed the final scene in the show and ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT! AND I ALREADY TOLD YOU IT’S THE FINAL SCENE SO YOU BETTER STOP READING NOW OR YOU’RE GOING TO HATE YOURSELF! AND IF YOU HAVE SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES ALREADY THEN CONTINUING TO READ IS ONLY GOING TO EXASPERATE THOSE ISSUES SO YOU REALLY BETTER STOP READING NOW! Anyhoo, here is the final scene in the show in which Sarah (played by Rocco’s squeaky stuffed pug) cries over the lifeless body of Toxie. SEE I TOLD YOU TO STOP READING! THAT WAS ONE SERIOUS SPOILER YOU JUST READ, WASN’T IT?


And finally, here is Toxic Avenger star Nick Cordero taking an Actor’s Equity-mandated nap after a long day of rehearsal.


Well, I hope that photo esay was helpful. Whether or not I actually show up to work, I’m always there for you Toxaholics —

By the way, my parents are driving in tomorrow from New Jersey’s Enchantment Active Adult Retirement Community. We’re going to have dinner then I’m taking them to see the show so it should be exhausting terrific! I can’t wait to tell you all about it!

Your cyber pal,
Joe